Archive for June, 2009

Since last time

Saturday, June 27th, 2009

I’ve spoken to my boss, finally. Some days ago I was so fed up with work that I had actually written my 1-month notice (as required by the contract) and asked for a meeting with my boss to tell her I quit. I had such a bad feeling about work and felt so tired that I couldn’t see how I’d manage working more.

One thing led to the other, and during the meeting it was agreed that I should work the rest of the summer, and if I needed it take a leave during autumn to finish my thesis. If I then got accepted to the PhD course, I could quit, if not, I could work full time for a while and thus get more of the work I like. I also felt far better about the work I perform than before our talk, apparently I’ve been going around beating myself up (mentally, of course) over something that doesn’t exist – failures that aren’t failures, and things that she hadn’t even noticed. While I thought I did a horrible job, she thought I did a good job. Needless to say, going to work the day after was pretty easy.

I kind of know what it is that has made me think that way and made work so tiresome, but it’s too personal to write here. In any case I’m working on it.

On a lighter note, summer is here, I’m badly sunburnt (again) and it’s waay to warm. I’m going for my summer vacation in three days, can’t wait, and in between that a good friend will visit my flatmate and me, which I really look forward to. Also, I’m writing and writing and writing.

Well! Back to work!

How nice :)

Monday, June 15th, 2009

Just another pointless post I guess, but I just looked at the website statistics for this website, and there are actually people who read this blog :D I actually didn’t think there were anyone who had discovered it yet. How nice :)

Blog Story – section 1: In the marketplace

Monday, June 15th, 2009

As I wrote in my last post, I have planned to start a “blog story” in my blog. Generally speaking it will be a first draft, uploaded one piece at a time, and I don’t know where I’ll go with it or what it will be about. So any input or ideas are always appreciated, although generally I tend to go with my own :P I will update the title once I have one. ;)

Section 1 – The marketplace

Seyan walked through the gates to the marketplace at a brisk pace, pushing past fat merchants and worn-out housewives. He did not even cast an annoyed glance to the beggars or the people selling flowers and worthless trinkets for the poor. His business was not here, and his business could not wait.

In Achinan the market was made up of four sections. The boundaries between them were invisible, but strict. The main market, which you entered first, was the busy part, where food was sold and housewives and servants came to shop. The second section was for the rich. It was open only once a week as the merchants had stores elsewhere in town. On market day they would offer discounts and sell goods that normally were not sold in the store. Normally this was because the stores were not allowed to sell valuables of questionable ownership or origin. Once a week, at market, this was relaxed, so that the merchants would not start a civil war – they had a huge profit on these goods. Also the most valuable of all goods were sold here, as they typically arranged for them to be delivered on market day. Goods of this value could not be kept around, and even if they sold it with a hefty discount it was still more than worth all the hassle. The menacing guards standing by every booth were making sure that there were no unexpected losses.

The third section was for many people the most exotic one. Of all the cities in Ayamar, Achinan was the one where the most cultures came together. As there normally would be in all cities there were merchants from the neighbouring countries and areas. But while Achinan officially was sceptical of foreign things, it was a haven for all things exotic and strange. Traders came here from all parts of the world, even from the other continents, and with all kinds of goods. Southerners, elves from all the tribes, northerners, even folks from the North Continent – from everywhere they came to trade; and the third section was truly a marvellous place for those not used to it.

As a native Achinanian, Seyan had seen the ever-changing market countless times before. Normally he would take a look not only at the goods but also at the female merchants and serving girls, as he was a ladies’ man, but today he was heading for the fourth section with undivided attention.

The fourth section was the one with the least customers. It was the only area to be surrounded by a large fence, and it was impossible to stroll leisurely into it by chance. It was in some ways a shame, as there were truly amazing things to be found here. Still it could be a frightening and intimidating place for one not prepared for it. It was the section where magic goods and services were bought and sold, where adventurers were hired and where deals that should not see the light of day were agreed to. Shady business, in many people’s minds, so one might wonder why the authorities never shut down the place. It was no secret that the shady business more than once in a while was on the wrong side of the law. But if this place was shut down that kind of business would be forced into the streets where it could be a danger to innocent people. Besides, the old saying said never to provoke the magicians, and it was no secret that a lot of the city treasury came from the magic trade.

Seyan knew what to expect, as it was not his first time here; but still, as a man who had no magical powers, he entered the place with caution. It was perhaps the one place where he would be unable to defend himself against any threats, and for a man like him that was a scary thought.

Stories

Friday, June 12th, 2009

You know, I am always thinking of writing… I have story ideas in my head all the time, and write a few of them down. I guess I have the same problems as other writers, I really want to share my stories. But for my main projects, I… can’t. I want them to be published novels, and it’s no point in doing that if they’re already all over the Internet in the first place. And I think many writer’s feel much more pressure when you share what you are working on, you feel more committed to this ONE storyline and you feel more restricted. When you feel more restricted it gets harder to write, until you don’t write at all.

BUT still you want to share stories, you want to write and get feedback right away. I have always loved the “shared” stories (I can’t for the life of me remember the name for them now) where you write one section and then your friend or writing partner writes another and then you write another and then… it continues. Well, I am only one person but I thought that I might get the same mental effect by writing for my blog. Writing sections now and then and in the end, it becomes a story.

So now my blog is officially a sketch AND story blog.

A post about studies…

Friday, June 12th, 2009

Sometimes you write deep entries. Entries that grasp at your very soul and speaks volumes about universal truths, entries that move those who read them… This is not one of those.

This is merely a “hey, this is what’s going on in my life now”-post.

I am working, or supposed to be working, on my thesis right now. I’m just a few days away from sending the first material to my advisor. I have looked countless Old Norse verbs up in the dictionary, and now I am in the process of sorting them in different groups. Then I’ll find example sentences for all of them, double check with another dictionary and then send them off. I think it’s the first time I actually will have some material for my advisor to look over… My depression really took its toll on my writing process. Or killed it totally. But I’m fighting my way back. It feels literal – like there really is a fight within me.

Anyway. Today a good friend of mine came to town to visit another good friend (all three of us went to school together some years ago). Our common friends usually visit my other friend as her apartment is much more visitor friendly than mine. For one thing, no dog. But also she is much better at keeping in touch with friends than I am, I think. I am so antisocial at times… Tomorrow we’ll see Wolverine at the cinema. I have already seen it, and wanted really to see Coraline (as I loved the book) but it has only early showings tomorrow and I am working… Wolverine is shown later in the day, half an hour after I finish work, so I have the time to see that one. I think it’s going to be fun.

That was all for today I think, I have to work on my thesis and chat with a friend on msn. See ya!

Village Girl Colour

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

I just had to paint something today. Being that I have very little inspiration whatsoever, I decided just to colour something… This is a picture I drew, according to my deviantART gallery, on June 12, 2005. I have always loved this pencil piece, because I didn’t really have a good grasp on anatomy at all back then, but this one turned out pretty good in that aspect anyway.

Usually when I colour I paint on top of the sketch so I hide the pencil strokes in the end; it takes much, MUCH more time but looks more finished in a way. But painting underneath the sketch is much faster and if I want to keep the sketch, as I did in this case, I have the conscience to do it this way (sometimes it feels like the easy way out :P ).

Village girl coloured

Village girl coloured

Oh, and nearly forgot, the link to the original version:

http://ciuva.deviantart.com/art/Just-a-normal-village-girl-19372839

Just one more thing…

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

I swear, if 10% of all the comments I get (I have to approve them before they show up, fortunately) were not spam I would be a happy woman. And for the record, I hate the ones that say “hey, interesting article” or “thanks for the review” when it’s blog entries to which these comments absolutely do not fit. Besides, if you link to an advertisement or scam, I won’t approve it. Forget it.

That was all for now.

Phew…

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

It seems like I either write a lot on here, or nothing at all. This week it’s a lot.

It has finally arrived, the day of the big Bruce Springsteen concert in town. All our rooms have been booked since January and while tomorrow will be completely exhausting as well, today takes the cake. Three out of 45 rooms were NOT checking out today, 5 rooms were empty last night, but apart from those everyone were checking out today, and we have a full hotel tonight, meaning that 42 rooms are checking in. In fact, I had 15 check-ins before 11 o’clock. It was completely insane at one point.

It became even more insane because I was nearly ten minutes late opening the reception. The security guy had forgotten to put the reception key back where it belongs, and the cleaner had to run upstairs to get it. Twice, actually, because the first time the security guy didn’t remember that he had it. So I was late. My day hadn’t the best of starts to begin with; the bus was late and became even later as it went along, there was a whole kindergarten on the bus, and the grocery store was out of dressing for the salad bar. (Yeah, I know, boohoo, big deal)

So there I was, late start and a full reception. And I mean FULL. I swear, I hardly had time to breathe before half past eleven. And not only that, but one of our cleaners has been fired since last time I was working and there are two new cleaners working. Apparently my boss was very relieved that I was the one working today, and I can understand why (I’m the one who has worked here the longest) but luckily it all seems to go well. I hope! The day is far from over yet.

I’m actually very nervous about telling my boss that I’m going to quit. It’s over half a year until I have to worry about that, but I really like her and hate to disappoint her. But I have to do what is right for me… Besides, I’m going to quit at a quiet time, not in the middle of the high season.

Star ratings

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

This is probably just of interest to a few of you.

According to a Norwegian newspaper (its Internet version) www.vg.no (I forgot what the link was to the actual article) Norwegian hotels are finally getting official star ratings very soon. According to the article, only Norway and Finland do not have star ratings. Some Norwegian hotels make up their own ratings, but now there will be an official standard. I’m very curious what star rating my workplace will get. Not very high, I fear…

I think, although it might be negative for my own workplace, that it’s on high time. Campsites (not sure if it’s for all campsites or just the organized ones, but if it’s just the organized ones it’s effectively almost all) have had official ratings for many years. I remember working at a campsite during summers some years ago, the requirements for the ratings had just been revised so we were going through everything to see how much we had to update/fix/establish. But of course, for campsites the requirements are much more diverse than for hotels as campsites provide a much broader service all in all.

It will be exciting, I think. Finally I will have an answer when foreign tourists ask me what star rating my hotel has. They always look thoroughly puzzled when I say that we haven’t got any.

Long time, no see

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

I’ve gotten over my existential crisis and have gone through a couple more in addition to that… Nearly, anyways. Since it’s soon a month since last time I wrote, I figured I should write a new entry although nobody hardly ever reads this anyway. But I need an outlet anyway.

I’ve finally figured out what I want, thanks to one online friend and one colleague, both of whom have this strange ability to say the right things at the right time and ask the right questions. I discovered that I don’t really want to work at a hotel for the rest of my life, it’s just a nice second choice when you’re afraid of going for the first choice. I am a phobic person, what can I say? I’ve decided not to let my fears rule my life, I’ve already gotten rid of a great deal of my fears and learnt to handle most of the rest, life is considerably better when you start being true to yourself.

Basically my decision has two parts. 1., I’m going to follow my dream and really work for becoming an author. 2., I’m going to go for getting a PhD and making a career in linguistics. If I don’t succeed, well, then I don’t succeed and I will have some hotel experience to fall back upon. But I have thought a great deal lately and I really think that I have what I need to work with linguistics. And in any case, language is my passion. I’ve seen it more and more, especially with all the plans and hopes and dreams I have, and just the fact that whenever I daydream about the future I am working as a linguist, so I cannot just abandon that. If I am willing to use my spare time writing an article about some narrow linguistic phenomenon and get all giddy about case exceptions in old norse sentences, well, there shouldn’t be much doubt.

Painting-wise I haven’t really done much lately. I’ve been really busy and my depression has become worse… The good period just after I started the treatment has worn off and I haven’t really changed my habits enough. Currently I’m walking an hour per day (or trying to) but I still push myself too hard. So, not much painting, but I think that I might do a small picture, at least, soon. At least as soon as I have started to become bored with the Sims 3. (Yeah, I’m kinda hooked).

Other than that, I’m tired and frustrated nowadays… I don’t remember my dance steps well enough, I’ve missed so many rehearsals since I’m working later now in the high season. And I am really tired of work. It was so extremely hard to get up this morning, I hardly got time for anything. It’s such a chore nowadays, I really don’t want to go to work. Logically I know that this is just a slump, my depression is worse today than in months, but… I think there’s something in it. I really DON’T like this job as much as I thought I did, I think all the bad things are finally getting to me. And I get more and more responsibility, but I’m really not ready for it. I CAN’T get done all the things that should get done. Sometimes it feels too much. And right now I just can’t cope with everything work-related that comes at me outside work, it’s like I can’t ever put it completely away… I need to do something with my life… But I need to have a job so that I have enough money for my new apartment etc. I need to get the translation thing going so that I can earn some extra cash and hopefully cut back on working at the hotel. I had originally told my boss that I thought it would go just fine with just two people and the security guy working, but I’m not so sure. I think it will be too much. Maybe I should send her an e-mail and say that I don’t think it’ll work anyway…

Sorry, lots of whining this time. Finished now. ;) (This was supposed to be a cheerful entry, seems like I’ve gone and hid some things from myself again.)