I really wish…
…that I would get less spam and more genuine comments on this blog, and that I would be able to tell the difference between some of the most sophisticated spam comments and genuine ones.
…that my thesis was finished
…that I could let things go
…that I dared to do things I want to do, dared to take a chance
…that I could be at peace with myself
…that I had more time for friends, and that my friends had more time
…that my friends lived closer
…that I didn’t suck at keeping in touch with my friends
…that I could stop stopping myself (directly, indirectly, mentally, subconsciously) from achieving my goals and doing what I want.
…that I had a fantastic plot idea for my book
…that my book was finished so I know that I could
…that I could believe in myself. Really believe in myself. And trust in myself. Some sort of self-confidence at least – on the inside, not just on the outside. If it’s even there.
…that I was able to really go for the things I want.
…I could sleep right now
…that I didn’t have to worry about money anymore, and that I had more sense, economy-wise
…that I didn’t keep deceiving myself over and over again
…that I was able to do what I know I need to do to and not just for a couple of days before I stop. I’m not talking school or work or things like that, but small things that I should do every day to keep myself well and my depression at bay… talking a walk each day, eating breakfast (although I’m better at this one now), doing things to de-stress, doing work when it shows up and not letting it pile up, getting enough sleep…
…that I had a piano
…that my guitar skills weren’t so rusty (but I’m refreshing them! It’s fun playing the guitar again)
…that I had a low D tin whistle
…that I wasn’t so materialistic
…that the first Sims 3 expansion pack was here NOW
…that I was finished with my thesis – oh wait. Already said. Ooops, said it again.
…that I was finished with my thesis – it can’t be said too many times
…that I know what to do with my life
…that I was better at drawing, had a wider range of subjects I could draw and that I could push myself to learn new things
…that I could live at least partially off my photography, or drawing
…that I had an artwork (photo or drawing/painting) published in a magazine or book, or got one or more short stories published
…that I could knock my inner editor out cold so I could actually be able to write again.
…that I didn’t have so extremely high expectations for myself, and that I didn’t give in before I’ve even tried fulfilling them – it’s a recipe for failure the way it’s now.
…that I had a dog
…that I had a rabbit
…that I didn’t constantly long for things I don’t have
…that I didn’t regret so much